We're thinking about voting Democrat this November

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday  CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the  government for redistribution as THEY see fit. 

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters. 

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.  

I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse. 

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. 
 
Makes ya wonder why anyone would EVER vote  Republican, now doesn't it?

 

Comments

[Frank]

I’m thinking about voting Republican this November

I'm voting Republican because I believe that business, left to it’s own devices, will undoubtedly regulate itself and not institute unsafe, unethical and inhumane practices.

I’m voting Republican because I love the constitution in general, except for those pesky 4th and 8th amendments which hinder information gathering.

I'm voting Republican because when we never pull out of Iraq, I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because we showed them what will happen if they don’t.

I'm voting Republican because I believe that people who are responsible to their stockholders would never try to downplay scientific research to ensure their profits continue.

I'm voting Republican because I'm VERY concerned with other people do with their own bodies.

I'm voting Republican because I believe that business should be allowed to make profits for themselves regardless of the current economy and/or ecology. They need to make money hand over fist without any kind of oversight. Worked for Enron.

I'm voting Republican because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist conservatives need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Republican because I believe in my constitutional right to hunt dear with a fully-automated assault rifle.

I'm voting Republican because I want to force my values upon every American. If you don’t agree with me, then you are wrong.

I'm voting Republican because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are great for my portfolio.

Makes ya wonder why anyone would EVER vote Democrat, now doesn't it?

[AJ]

Like you said to me one time, Beth...I love you to death, and if you were Republican you'd be perfect! Oh, I definitely want to try out some of that placenta face cream...

[beth]

Hey, I didn't realize they were taking auditions for the Fox network. Let me know how it goes!!! Call me when you get a chance. I may be a tad busy over the next few days planning foot rubs and manicures for child rapists, after that my calendar should open up as I'm only out at the abortion clinics, mxin it up a bit, as they say. When I'm finished with that I'm going out with my three pointy headed friends to do a little work on the Constitution. Let me know where you and the horse are registered because I realy would like to get you somehting nice. All the money the government is allowing me to make off my new aborted baby placenta face cream should allow me to buy you something really awesome!!! Toodles, Beth